Best Chirp lines in hockey that you have heard

[BROKEN*ORBITAL]

My ball hockey team was whooping ass one time. Up 6 or 7 - 2 with 14 seconds left I called a timeout. I walked past their bench on my way to mine. Licking my lips I looked at the guys on their bench and said, "You know, all this winning has really made me thirsty." I splashed some water in my mouth smiling at them for 30 seconds while they all yelled at me.

Off the opening draw a guy on the other team was coming down the wing (I play D) and tried a shot that I blocked. I yelled at him, 0 FOR 1 MOTHER F*CKER, 0 FOR 1. His next 8 rushes against me ended with me blocking his shot, taking the ball away from him, or forcing him to pass. It was 9 consecutive plays that ended in my favour, and I yelled 0 FOR 2, 0 FOR 3, 0 for 4, and so on down to 9. When he finally did get by me, after a whistle from the bench, with a smile he says, "what happened superstar, couldn't stop me that time?" I looked over and replied, "1 for 10 and you're proud?" The smile vanished quickly as he told me to f*ck off.

A guy was at the top of the faceoff circle and decided to tee on up. I charged out and blocked it at about the faceoff dot. After the ball hit me and was rolling back to him on a platter I yelled, "YOU'LL NEVER GET THAT SH*T BY ME." He wound up again with the ball essentially rolling towards him for a nice one-timer and let it fly. I was down on my knees but still got a piece and directed it into the corner. As my D partner ran in to get the loose ball I started yelling at the guy, "I SAID NEVER, NEVER, NEVER" with each NEVER geting louder and louder. He didn't even try to go after the ball. He just stood there looking at me like I was a maniac as I yelled at him like, well like a maniac.

Early in a game the other team's captain came in against me on a 1 on 1. He tried to go through my legs but I broke it up with my feet and advanced the ball. As he ran by me I gave him a little hook on the arm and said, "what happened C man?" He looked back and said, "next time." A few shifts later he was carrying the ball on a 2 on 2 and made a terrible pass that I intercepted. After I got the ball out I ran over to him and said, "Does that C on your jersey stand for Can't play hockey worth sh*t?" He tried saying something back but I just kept talking louder than him and saying other things that start with C. Can't get by me? C*cksucker? Calling it quits Cuz I f*cking suck. And so on.

Other team had a 3 on 2 down low. One guy was at the side of the net YELLING for a pass. I was down at the top of the crease looking to block a shot or break up the pass to him. The other 2 guys got a little cutzie with a play and my D partner broke it up and got the ball out. The guy at the side of the net throws his hands up in the air in disgust and yells at the other 2 guys, "why would you not pass that to me?" Emotionless and expressionless I looked at him said, "because you f*cken s*ck." He started swearing at me.

[Flames_Suck44]

Originally Posted by fansince65

Playing in an exhibition against a young team when one of the young guys squares of beside me for a face-off , ask does your wife fuk other guys , my answer was , NO! but your mother does so watch it you could be my son !!!!

Wow, that's the wealth of experience talking!

[bnastybenito55]

One guy says "C'mon off the bench you pu$$y!" The other replies... "no thanks, I've got a regular shift."

[fansince65]

Originally Posted by Flames_Suck44

Wow, that's the wealth of experience talking!

I also used this one on the ice ...

Other player You Bastard !!!

My answer : in my case an accident of birth !! but you are a self made one !!!

[BStreetBullies]

This one game, we played against this homo with long hair, he looked like a chick and skated like one too. So I kept asking him out all game. We'd line up for a face-off and I'd say "dinner and a movie?". Then I asked him if he wore a cup for his twat.

[Cat Smasher]

How's your wife and my kids? Say it...

[flyersvikes]

Here is one of my favorites

YouTube - Slap Shot - Suzanne sucks *****!

[fansince65]

Originally Posted by Cat Smasher

How's your wife and my kids? Say it...

I always wondered why my kids cant play hockey , now I know , they have your "genes" ....

[pimking21]

Originally Posted by fansince65

I always wondered why my kids cant play hockey , now I know , they have your "genes" ....

hahaha

[SyrCrunch11]

we always get into it with auburn...you know how you get these kids you play EVERY year and they just keep getting cheaper and cheaper...this kids got some gay little wooden necklace looks like a ***...well i layed this kid out and he was pissed...so on the way off the ice after the game he goes i should beat you ya little ****...and i go...yeah,i should choke you out by your cute little chain ya ******!!!!i even had their team laughing at it

[fansince65]

Player : Do you want to go !!! (player bigger then me )

ME : Do you want to be beat up by a smaller guy ...

[boughner66]

perfect for when a short guy calls you out

me- hey buddy i can lose weight you cant grow taller.

[fansince65]

Originally Posted by boughner66

perfect for when a short guy calls you out

me- hey buddy i can lose weight you cant grow taller.

Answer : So you admit you are fat and slow !!!!

[MinnesotaNice14]

Originally Posted by BROKEN*ORBITAL

My ball hockey team was whooping ass one time. Up 6 or 7 - 2 with 14 seconds left I called a timeout. I walked past their bench on my way to mine. Licking my lips I looked at the guys on their bench and said, "You know, all this winning has really made me thirsty." I splashed some water in my mouth smiling at them for 30 seconds while they all yelled at me.

Off the opening draw a guy on the other team was coming down the wing (I play D) and tried a shot that I blocked. I yelled at him, 0 FOR 1 MOTHER F*CKER, 0 FOR 1. His next 8 rushes against me ended with me blocking his shot, taking the ball away from him, or forcing him to pass. It was 9 consecutive plays that ended in my favour, and I yelled 0 FOR 2, 0 FOR 3, 0 for 4, and so on down to 9. When he finally did get by me, after a whistle from the bench, with a smile he says, "what happened superstar, couldn't stop me that time?" I looked over and replied, "1 for 10 and you're proud?" The smile vanished quickly as he told me to f*ck off.

A guy was at the top of the faceoff circle and decided to tee on up. I charged out and blocked it at about the faceoff dot. After the ball hit me and was rolling back to him on a platter I yelled, "YOU'LL NEVER GET THAT SH*T BY ME." He wound up again with the ball essentially rolling towards him for a nice one-timer and let it fly. I was down on my knees but still got a piece and directed it into the corner. As my D partner ran in to get the loose ball I started yelling at the guy, "I SAID NEVER, NEVER, NEVER" with each NEVER geting louder and louder. He didn't even try to go after the ball. He just stood there looking at me like I was a maniac as I yelled at him like, well like a maniac.

Early in a game the other team's captain came in against me on a 1 on 1. He tried to go through my legs but I broke it up with my feet and advanced the ball. As he ran by me I gave him a little hook on the arm and said, "what happened C man?" He looked back and said, "next time." A few shifts later he was carrying the ball on a 2 on 2 and made a terrible pass that I intercepted. After I got the ball out I ran over to him and said, "Does that C on your jersey stand for Can't play hockey worth sh*t?" He tried saying something back but I just kept talking louder than him and saying other things that start with C. Can't get by me? C*cksucker? Calling it quits Cuz I f*cking suck. And so on.

Other team had a 3 on 2 down low. One guy was at the side of the net YELLING for a pass. I was down at the top of the crease looking to block a shot or break up the pass to him. The other 2 guys got a little cutzie with a play and my D partner broke it up and got the ball out. The guy at the side of the net throws his hands up in the air in disgust and yells at the other 2 guys, "why would you not pass that to me?" Emotionless and expressionless I looked at him said, "because you f*cken s*ck." He started swearing at me.

Sorry I stopped reading after "my ball hockey team". Put some skates on ya clown

[ValJamesRules]

Guess the 1 for 10 guy finally got an account

Nice bump-up! Welcome to the site.